Paging Dr. Jeckyl…

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Paging Dr. Jeckyl…

A reader named Aleta wants to know what it means when a guy she met online is nice for a couple of days, and then in the light of the full moon, he becomes a weredouche. What might this mean? Let’s find out…

Okay…I thought that women were supposed to be the moody ones. What is this with a guy who is sweet and loving for two or three days and then…turns into Godzilla for 3 or 4 days? could it be that being decent and sweet terrifies him so that he has to be an absolute idiot to make up for it? Help…is this bipolar? what is going on? is this a man thing?

Argh.

Dear Aleta,

First of all, I love that you thought that women were supposed to be moodier than men. Hilarious. And (as you now well know) untrue. So, why might a guy behave this way? You’ve offered a few possibilities. Let’s take a look:

FRIGHTENED LITTLE SQUIRREL

This is a common explanation that I’ve heard many, many women offer for all sorts of bad behavior on the part of their men. He got scared by being so nice and that’s why he stopped being nice. There are several other versions of this one, maybe you’ve heard them:

  • He got frightened by how close we were getting, so that’s why he stopped calling.
  • Our relationship was too intimate for him, and it freaked him out. That’s why he cheated on me.

….and many more.

So, is this possible in this situation? Mm…I don’t buy it. I just don’t think so.

BIPOLAR ROLLER

Well, as a Bachelor of the Fine Art of Theater, I’ve got ALL the right training to make this diagnosis. Over the internet. With no information. Mmm…maybe not. But I will say this. I’ve known only a couple of REAL bipolar people in my life. It’s quite a ride for them and the people around them.

And when I say “real bipolar people” I’m not talking about the people who TELL you they’re bipolar so they can get away with all kinds of assholery. (File these gems in the same category as the people who “claim” to have ADHD, Depression, OCD, or anything else that was never quite “diagnosed” by a “professional” but they still bring it up every time they act like a “prick.”)

So, is it possible? Real bipolar? Fake bipolar? Absolutely. But you’re going to need someone who is more qualified than a manslator for that. Which, by the way, is virtually everyone on the earth.

JUST A GUY THANG

Well, it’s a well known, well documented fact that dudes are not the masters of appropriate emotional responses. If a guy has anger issues (gosh, I’m sure I know SOME guy who has them. Oh…who was that again…?) then he might take great pains to keep them from getting out of control. Ehhhh…most of the time. But when his guard’s down (like, say, when he’s with his sweet lady) the anger squirts out sideways sometimes.

Also, if a guy is not used to being vulnerable, but then IS (and again, I’m struggling to think of a guy who might have, once or twice, fit this description) it’s a little bit like the grain of sand in the oyster. Before it’s a pearl, I’m saying. You know, the part where you feel insanely irritated by everything and don’t know why.

SO WHAT’S THIS GUY’S STORY?

Couldn’t say for sure. But I’ll say this: I think you need to let him know that this is an issue. ON ONE OF THE GOOD DAYS. It sounds to me like it’s not 100% under his control when he flies off the handle. You’re welcome to bring it up during one of his “spells” but I’d say you’ll get a lot further if you talk about it when he’s in sweetness mode.

Good luck, Aleta. It’s going to be an awkward discussion, but if you don’t have it, I wouldn’t assume this will get any better.

Ever dated a weredouche, ladies? What was it all about?

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Keywords: dating,relationships,singles,men,women

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